The Third Space
Dr Adam Fraser's video about The Third Space demonstrates clearly how we typically rush through the day moving from one thing to the next, often driven by our self-talk, ending up tired and depleted at the end of the day. Dr Fraser encourages us to find time to reflect, rest and re-set. He says the rest phase is where we take a moment to pause, calm our minds, and be present to the moment. It may be as short as a few seconds, or if life permits, significantly longer. This centres us.
To help you put this video into practice we’d like to introduce you to an exercise called The Pause. It requires finding just a few minutes between activities.
The Pause involves three simple steps:
Stop and be still.
Relax. Let all your muscles fall loosely.
Become aware of the senses for 20-30 seconds e.g. the sensation of your breathing, listening, or the weight of your body. Use the one that comes to you most naturally.
It is ideal to do this exercise first thing in the morning before you even put your feet on the floor, and then last thing at night before you climb into bed. You can do it between so many daily activities for example between typing away on the keyboard and answering your phone, before entering a meeting, before starting your car engine to drive somewhere, and before getting out of your vehicle to go inside and greet your family at the end of the day.
This activity allows you to insert 'punctuation marks' into your day; to begin each task afresh, without bringing thoughts and feelings from the previous activity. It is the accumulation of the thoughts and feelings of everything that’s gone on during the day that can leave you feeling as though you’re carrying home a tonne of weight each evening – which is exhausting! It’s rather like reading a book that has no commas or full-stops in it.
If you do this exercise as often as possible throughout your day your mind will remain clear and you will be more relaxed and responsive to what is occurring in each moment. In order to be able to practice this exercise we first need to become aware that we are not in the present moment – and this is one of the most challenging elements of developing mindfulness…because if we’re not here, we don’t know we’re not here. In our ordinary state of awareness, it’s our self-talk that keeps us from being in the present.
Much like standing on the platform of a busy train station and our thoughts are the trains coming through…our mind automatically hops on every train that comes by, mindlessly going in whatever direction it happens to take. But we can change that. In the moment that the thought arrives we may choose to stay grounded on the platform and let the train go on its merry way, so that we remain with what is around us in each moment.
When you become aware that you’ve wandered off into thought, judgments or worries, recognise that you have this moment of choice: You can either stay in that distracted state, or you can choose to bring your attention back to the present moment in a relaxed, non-judgmental way. You can do this by bringing your attention to your senses and experiencing what is really there in the moment. Making that choice to come back to the present is vital to developing mindfulness, and your ability to do it will become greater and greater the more you practice this.