Difficult Behaviour or Poor Performance Problem
One of the most challenging situations in life is having a conversation with someone who isn’t performing well or who has a repetitive behaviour that is causing problems in the workplace. Our typical response is either to avoid the situation or to over-react and reprimand the person in an abrupt manner. Neither approach is particularly effective. The problem may go away for a short time…then usually things get worse and drastic action is necessary.
Below are some proven steps to follow that are likely to get the best outcome possible.
The first thing you need to do is prepare which means considering the following:
Defining the gap, performance, behaviour or change I need from the person. Be clear what the issue or problem is and the change in behaviour or performance you need to happen. It is very important that you are very precise - if you don’t get the words right, the conversation can go around in circles or become argumentative.
Describe the specific, unacceptable behaviours such as consistently arriving late to meetings, not getting a task done on time, criticising others behind their backs, blaming others for a mistake or specified standards that aren’t being met. Don’t criticise a person for a general thing like “You don’t have a positive attitude.” or “You are not a team player.” You cannot see an attitude. Teamwork is too general since it has many elements to it.
Be prepared to provide specific examples. If you tell the person you are concerned about them being consistently late and they counter with ‘I’ve only been late once last month’, you need to have a specific example : “I noticed you were late Tuesday and Wednesday this week as well as three days last week and I made a note of it.”
Defining the gap and then coaching to close the gap means that you have to be very clear what the current behaviour is – being late to meetings two times or more a week – and what the acceptable standard or performance is. “I’d like you to be on time all the time, but not be late more than two times over four weeks, unless you have an emergency or are ill.”
If you get the performance or behaviour gap clear and communicate it well, you will have a vital element of the conversation in place.
Where will we meet? Consider the location and setting. The place you chose sets the scene and sends a message. If it’s in your office, you are emphasising your role and authority. If its in a meeting room, it is neutral. If it is in a café, it is informal and indicates you are equals. Any location can be suitable, depending on the situation and the tone that you want to set.
How do I request the meeting and what do I say? Decide if you go to the person and invite them face-to-face, if you are going to send an email or telephone them. You have to give the person some idea of what the meeting is about, but don’t want to say something that will upset the person before the meeting. An invitation such as “Brett, I want to talk to you tomorrow about your negative attitude in the project meetings” isn’t the best approach. It would be better to say: “Brett, I’d like to meet with you when you have time tomorrow so we can discuss how the project meetings are going.”
Your opening statement. This should have a problem-solving, participative approach rather than an accusatory tone. Instead of “Hi Julie, I need to talk to you about getting angry and insulting Chris about the way he handled a customer complaint” say “Hi Julie, thanks for making time for this meeting. I’d like to talk to you about how things are going between you and Chris. I understand that you and he have had some disagreement about the customer complaint procedure.” The first opening statement will put Julie on the defensive since you are starting the conversation on the basis that she did something wrong that you want to discuss. The second approach is open and suggests that a situation occurred, and you want to hear her side of the story.
Conducting the conversation
During the conversation, following the IDEAS steps can ensure the conversation goes the way you’d like it to.
Issue: the first step is to define the issue or problem. This includes the opening statement you have prepared and describing the problem you want to discuss.
After you describe the issue, ask questions of the other person and seek to understand their side before you detail your concerns and the gap in the behaviour or performance. Ask several questions and listen to what they have to say.
Define the gap in behaviour clearly and what you require from them. Describe what is needed clearly and the reason for it. “I need you to come to meetings on time since your participation is important to the team.”
Explore options: Consider various options that can help solve the problem. This might include training, help from another person, changing the circumstances or the person might need to change their attitude or behaviour. Explore each of the options and determine the best one.
Agree on actions and times. The actions should fit the SMART goal approach. Specific, measureable or observable, realistic and include a time to be completed.
Summarise and follow-up: Before the meeting is finished summarise what has been agreed and what will happen next. Set a time to revisit progress and to adjust things if necessary.
Keep calm throughout the conversation no matter how the other person reacts even they say negative or critical things about you. Don’t let the conversation get side-tracked onto other less relevant matters.
A difficult conversation is very challenging and tests your ability to stay focussed and skilled in finding the best way forward. It can a very worthwhile experience for you and the other person if it is handled well.