Emotional Skills Matter

Written by Heather Wringe

EQ leads to many positive aspects in life including better interpersonal relations, job satisfaction and more effective leadership skills.

Daniel Goleman first popularised the term ‘Emotional Intelligence’ in 1995 after completing research showing that EQ leads to many positive aspects in life including better interpersonal relations, job satisfaction and more effective leadership skills. Many senior managers however still do not see a link between a successful company and emotional intelligence.

So. What is emotional intelligence?

While general intelligence (IQ) represents abilities such as reason, logic, memory, general knowledge and cognitive processing, emotional intelligence (EQ) can be defined as a person’s ability to be aware of, manage and use emotions appropriately in dealing with others in different situations. This video from The School of Life provides a neat introduction to emotional intelligence and emotional education (you’ll need just over 5 minutes to watch this).

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Emotional Intelligence is … 

'a different way of being smart. It includes knowing your feelings and using them to make good decisions; managing your feelings well; motivating yourself with zeal and persistence; maintaining hope in the face of frustration; exhibiting empathy and compassion; interacting smoothly; and managing your relationships effectively. Those emotional skills matter immensely – in marriage and families, in career and the workplace, for health and contentment.' (Goleman, 1998)

There are a few variations to the key dimensions of emotional intelligence but they usually include:

1. Self-Awareness: the ability to be aware of and know your own emotions.

2. Self-Management or Self-Regulation: the ability to manage your own emotions, to know when to express and manage your emotions.

3. Awareness of Others/Empathy: this is the skill to read the emotions of others through body language, behaviours and the words the speak.

4. Ability to Influence Others or Social Skills: this is the ability to influence and shift the feelings of others. It is the skill that great sporting coaches have when they are able to turn the team’s energy and skill around when they are losing in the fourth quarter to win the game.

5. Motivation: the ability to keep your self-motivated and resilient in good times and bad.

6. Self-Confidence: a feeling of trust in one’s own abilities, qualities and judgment, and acceptance of ‘flaws’ and vulnerabilities

Research studies have followed children, adolescents and adults who have higher emotional intelligence and found that they are more socially competent, personally effective, better able to handle stress, more self-reliant and trustworthy, and better academically. People with higher emotional and social intelligence were found to be less prone to worry and performed better at university. Higher levels of emotional intelligence, hope and optimism, not only predicted academic success, but also predicted success rates of sales and likelihood to stay in the organisation.

When we effectively manage our emotions, we can improve the quality of our energy, regardless of the external pressures we face. To do this, we must first become more aware of how we feel at various points during the workday and of the impact these emotions have on our effectiveness. Most people realise that they tend to perform best when they’re feeling positive energy. What we may find surprising is that we’re not able to perform well or to lead effectively when we’re feeling any other way.

Remember, EQ is...

Self-awareness and self-confidence - NOT self-obsession
Managing and regulating - NOT suppressing emotions
Demonstrating empathy - NOT overwhelming sympathy
Handling relationships - NOT just being 'nice'

These skills contribute to our ability to work well with and lead others effectively - and the good news is, they can be learned. In following articles, we'll explore how you can build Emotional Intelligence in yourself and your team.