Speaking Up: How to overcome your fear of speaking in meetings?
Meetings are a critical place to show your worth, build your reputation and contribute your ideas. However, actively participating and speaking up in meetings can feel overwhelming and intimidating for many.
Here are a few tips for how can overcome a phobia of participating:
Preparation
Do some prep work before the meeting, whether or not you have been formally asked to do so. Review the meeting agenda and ask a more senior colleague what they would like you to cover. Write a list of thoughts in advance – perhaps even scripting out an opening sentence or two, especially if you find it hard to articulate these thoughts on demand.
Aside from building your confidence in what you want to contribute, preparing your thoughts ahead of time can also give you a push to be one of the first people to speak up, which may not be your normal style. Psychologically, this helps you feel part of a meeting earlier, and people will often in turn direct their comments to you.
Set yourself a specific, modest goal.
Specific, doable goals give you something to aim for. Start with a modest goal – like challenging yourself to say one single thing during a particular meeting, you’ll quickly find yourself achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. You can build from there.
Let go of perfectionism
Let go of the idea that your thoughts have to be well-formulated in order to be raised. Notice how half-baked people’s ideas often are when they advance them, and that no one minds. Half-baked ideas often have a lot of value. Reminding yourself of this in itself can give you the freedom to speak up.
Ask questions
One of the easiest ways to speak up in a meeting is to ask questions. Try asking “How was that decision reached?” “What do we know about the impact of these changes?” Leverage your knowledge and expertise to probe deeper into what others are saying.
Speak at a slightly higher decibel
If you speak at a slightly higher decibel than the people around you, this is an unconscious signal that you are entering the conversation. This does not mean shouting; just a subtle increase in level.
Believe in your ideas and have confidence sharing them
Your ideas are no less valid than those of the other people in the meeting, so don’t allow doubt to get in the way. Value your contribution, which will help you to speak with conviction. Avoid phrases and comments that minimise your ideas and appear overly tentative e.g. this might be a stupid question, but.. or I know I don’t know much about this, but..). These can dilute the impact of your contributions.
Leverage and value your expertise
consider what unique perspective you have to offer. This might be your experience, your deep understanding of an issue, your particular skill set, which provides much needed context for the discussion. Consider that, by not contributing to the discussion, the best solution may not be reached.
Buy yourself time to think things through
If you are fearful about being put on the spot for a response in a meeting, you can just say “I really want to think that through, why don’t you come back to me” or “Can we table that idea? It’s something I want to think through more deeply”. If you say this in a forthright, graceful way, people will be fine with it.
Practice
If it is a particularly crucial meeting, where the stakes feel high, practice presenting your ideas, arguments with someone you trust beforehand. Verbalising your thoughts out load in a non-threatening environment can build your muscle and help you to feel more confident in stepping up in the real situation.
Based on extracts from a conversation between HBR and Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.