Build Your Network: Influencing with Purpose
Written by Hannah Fitzhardinge
Our personal and professional networks provide us with support, access to information and opportunities, new ways of thinking, as well as the power to influence and advocate. By building trusted relationships we can learn new skills and broaden our expertise – ultimately working towards achieving our vision. One of the most famous examples of the power of networking is Bill Gates. While his mother was on the board of United Way she met the CEO of IBM, and by mentioning Bill’s project (Microsoft), this ultimately paved the way for his future success.
But for many of us, the idea of networking is off-putting. With our already busy schedules, fitting in time to foster connections with others who aren’t directly related to our ‘to-do’ list feels unimportant and a waste of our precious energy. We may fear the blurring of lines between our professional and personal lives. Or feel insincere in our attempts to get to know others (we’d hate for someone to think we are ‘using’ them).
Building our network authentically, in and outside our workplace, can have a powerful impact on our performance and success. According to R Cross and R Thomas in their Harvard Business Review article “A Smarter Way to Network” (2011):
“Executives who consistently rank in the top 20% of their companies in both performance and wellbeing have diverse but select networks…made up of high-quality relationships with people from several different spheres and from up and down the corporate hierarchy”
So, who should be in our network?
1. People who offer new information or expertise, increase market awareness, give insight into other industries, locations etc. inspire innovation.
2. Formally powerful people (for mentoring, sponsorship, resources) and informally powerful people (for influence, coordination).
3. People who give you developmental feedback, push you to be better, challenge your decisions.
4. People who provide personal support, with whom you can be yourself and who will pick you up on a bad day
5. People who add a sense of purpose and worth - for validation and to provide broader meaning.
6. People who promote work/life balance by holding you accountable for hobbies, exercise, volunteer activities
Before worrying about making new connections, it’s a good idea to have a look at those you already have. Think about people in relation to the following:
• Internal v External
• Operational, Personal, Strategic
• Face-to-face and online
• Who energizes you? Who de-energizes you?
• Who is connected to the achievement of your goals?
See networking as an opportunity to learn about different people, organisations, challenges and ideas – rather than having to promote yourself! Keep an open mind. Having diversity in your connections will assist you in the long run. Remember to focus on ‘building a network’ rather than networking (long versus short term). A good place to start is to find a networking forum that attracts people with something in common to begin with e.g. women in leadership, or conscious business. Or volunteer for something you care about that fits your purpose/values.
Networking tips
Network with people who may not have official power but have influence. How you treat EAs in particular can either make or break your access to CEOs. People who report to important people can also be more influential than you may realize at first.
Always give, give, give. Never ask, unless you really need to (and you have given many times before).
Network to build relationships, not for personal gain. People will see right through it.
Be a conduit – you may not be able to help directly but you may have a great idea of someone else who can. Connect them up!
Have a warm conversation closing line ready ‘I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, there’s a few other people I want to catch here this evening, but perhaps I can send you an email about the workshop ideas we discussed?’
Don’t gossip. It puts the focus on a negative topic, and besides, we live in a small town.
When you’re meeting people, ask yourself, “Can I help them in any way?” (Rather than “can they help me?”)
Have a 30 sec 'pitch' about what you do and why - your ‘sweet spot’.
Use a person’s name several times when you first meet. It will help you remember their name. People love to hear their names! Asking a question about someone’s name could also be a conversation-starter.
To help people remember your name, introduce yourself with your first name then both first and surname e.g. I’m Hannah, Hannah Fitzhardinge.
Ask open-ended questions. Don’t ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no or that is what you might just get. People are quite interesting when you want to get to know them and learn about what they are passionate about.
Listen carefully and intently. Actively listening is the best way to build trust in a new relationship. It helps to have open body language and to not speak so much as to hijack the conversation.
It’s also important to follow up within a reasonable amount of time after meeting someone. LinkedIn is a great way to do this and to keep track of your professional network in general.
When you follow up, make a specific reference to the conversation you had.
If you say you’re going to do something - e.g. send them a link to something, send them a book, connect them to someone - do it a couple of days later and within 2 weeks.